I don’t know about you driver, but I’m cold! Just makes me want to tie Al Gore to an elm tree using 100% hemp rope in his GMO-free cotton underwear and ask him, “How’s that global warming workin’ out for you now?” As I’m typing this, it’s 26°F in my tiny town of Shiner, TX. The hood of my Pete is covered in ice, the steps to my porch are covered in ice and every bare patch in the yard is, you guessed it, covered in ice!!!
I’m sure all of you that live north of the Red River are laughing and saying things like, “Aw, you don’t know what cold is!”(of course, you probably wouldn’t be saying “Aw” because that’s a southern thing). And you would be right! I don’t know what cold is, and I don’t WANT to know what cold is. It’s one of the very reasons that I’ve never moved away from here. Of course, my struggle is inversely related to a phenomenon that generally occurs in July and August when we have to listen to you Yankees complaining that it got up to 91° in Logansport, IN. As southerners, we are required by unwritten law to declare with boldness and a smile, “Heck, you boys don’t know what hot is!” I mean, we put sand on the roads down here too, but that’s to keep the tar from coming up through the asphault during the summer. The fact is, we are all ill-prepared to operate in temperatures outside what we consider to be the norm for our area. In the south, we don’t have snow plows and de-icing equipment in quantities large enough to be effective during weather events like what we’re experiencing today. Consequently, during the summertime we often hear reports on the news of how many people have died in Chicago during the recent heat wave because many homes and apartments up north don’t have air conditioning and although it’s known as the “Windy City”, we all know that a breeze during the dead of summer in the heart of the inner city is hard to come by.
So, how are you spending this “snow day” as a driver? Did you make it home before the weather hit? Are you stuck at a truckstop or rest area, waiting for the interstate to thaw out? Hopefully, you’re not that young driving school graduate who’s lived in Minneapolis all of his or her life driving in blizzards on snow-packed roads every winter and you just don’t see why everyone is shut down. Heck, you’re gonna make your dispatcher proud and get that load to that warehouse on time even if it kills you. Driver, you are in the south today, and that’s not snow you’re driving on, that’s ice and IT WILL KILL YOU!!!!! Besides, there’s no one at the warehouse. They sent everyone home yesterday and they won’t open back up until noon tomorrow.
Thankfully, the company I’m leased to left it up to us to decide whether we wanted to try and keep working and we all(all 4 of us) made a bee-line for the house. So stay warm, stay dry and above all else, stay safe. God speed, driver.